well i thought about the army dad said, son you're fucking high and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything so i took my old man's advice three sad semesters it was only fifteen grand spent in bed i thought about the army i dropped out and joined a band instead grew a moustache and a mullet got a job at chic-fil-a citing artistic differences the band broke up in may and in june reformed without me and they'd got a different name i nuked another grandma's apple pie and hung my head in shame i've been thinking a lot today i've been thinking a lot today oh, i think i'll write a screenplay oh, i think i'll take it to LA oh, i think i'll get it done yesterday
in this time of introspection on the eve of my election i say to my reflection god, please spare me more rejection 'cause my peers, they criticize me and my ex-wives all despise me try to put it all behind me but my redneck past is nipping at my heels i've been thinking a lot today i've been thinking a lot today i've been thinking a lot today i thought about the army...